waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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