I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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