Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
