Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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