Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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