Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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