i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
