How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
