hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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