Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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