Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
