im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
