I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize