Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
There's always time for handjobs
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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