I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
