the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
