I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
