Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
