I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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