I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
