You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
