And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
