i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
