i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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