One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
