I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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