if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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