just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just found puke in my bra..
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
