Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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