We're facebook friends in real life
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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