Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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