he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
