WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You pole danced in your parka.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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