i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
