i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
