the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
