Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
