I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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