I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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