im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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