That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
