I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Randomize
