Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
