Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
