I cockslap morals
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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