I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
