If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
