So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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