Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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