great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
