So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
