why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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