he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
