4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
vagina is talking i cant
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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