I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
