so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
