And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
