She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
