so explain again why im purple
no
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
