Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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