well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This gyro tastes like lonliness
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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