she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
