shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
